Monday, January 28, 2013

49ers vs. Ravens or "Worst Superbowl Ever"

I’ve never seen Casablanca, but there is a line in the movie that I’ve heard and cannot wait for the moment I’ll get to use it on some poor unsuspecting foe. 

A guy leans over to Humphrey Bogart and says “You despise me, don’t you?”
Bogart replies, “Well, if I gave you any thought I probably would.”

It’s a great line and perfectly sums up my feeling for this years Super Bowl.

 Seriously the last time I was this non excited about a Super Bowl was probably Steelers, Cardinals in 2009.  And I know that wasn’t very long ago, but c’mon, it was the Cardinals.  A team so historically bad that at least that was at least a little bit interesting.

It’s not that I hate this years teams, it’s just that I’ve never cared this little about the outcome of the game.

Seriously, come Monday either Joe Flacco, or Colin Kaepernick will be a Super Bowl winning QB and I don’t care.

Like at all…

I don’t really have anything against either team except for a general disinterest in them.

I love David Akers.  I want Randy Moss to have a ring for some unknown reason.  I like Ed Reed. And Joe Flacco is almost a local guy, and I’ve been reading about him long enough where I feel some sort of repertoire.

Heck I live in the greater Baltimore area and am friends with a couple of Ravens fans.


Consider this year’s ‘big’ theme is that it’s the “Harbowl.”  Wow!  Two brothers are coaching against each other OMG!   That in of itself is an accomplishment, but it is far from a reason to watch the game.

So when I found out even that cheesy nickname is tainted by Goodell’s goons, it was just another sad reminder of what a soulless game Football has become.

And this realization led me to another.  I don’t think I like football anymore…

Ok, that’s a gross oversimplification, I love the NFL, but I can’t watch it the same way anymore. 

If you’ll allow me to put on my kill joy pants, aka my Stephen A. Smiths, look back on this bone crushing hit by Bernard Pollard on Stephen Ridley.  The old me would have been like this

New Aaron’s first reaction to that hit was; “Holy shit, did that guy just die?” 

Knowing what I know now about concussions and CTE is sucking the life out of my enjoyment for the game.

And then reading Dan LeBatard’s excellent story on Jason Taylor was shocking.


Football is inherently violent.  That’s the NFL’s position on the matter.  That’s my position on the matter.  It should be, I like the violence, you like the violence, the American people like the violence.  I don’t want to take it out, but I don’t know if I can enjoy football the same way with it in.

This problem is far beyond Roger Goodell’s half assed tackling camp, it’s a serious problem that I don’t know how to fix, other than taking out the helmets.

I’ve already written about Goodell and his terribleness, but it bears repeating.  He exudes incompetence.  His leadership is like being piloted by a rudderless drunkard, we’re all going somewhere, but no one’s in charge, and no one knows where we’re going.

And along comes the 49ers,  and the Ravens.  Two teams with virtually no storylines or charisma.

ZOMG, Ray Lewis is retiring.  I don’t care.  I haven’t liked him since he murdered someone in 2000.  By the way, it’s nice to read 10,000 of those stories these past few weeks.  It’s like reporters have been just waiting 13 years for him to make it back to the Super Bowl before publishing them.  Grow a sack media.  That should have been a once a week story for the past decade.  I can’t wait to watch Ray do pump up speeches on ESPN’s countdown and talk about how the NFL is all about WARRIORS!  Good riddance.

I wanted to write another rant here, but I literally have nothing left to say about this game. 

These are solid teams, featuring no one I can write more than 8 short sentences about.

So I’ll leave you with a  clip of Jim Harbaugh on Saved by the Bell.  It’s actually sad he’s the best actor in the scene.  I THINK HE’S A HERO!

Actually that’s it.! This is the Screech Bowl! I’m rooting for 49ers in honor of A.C. Slater, Zack Morris, Lisa Turtle, Jessie Spano and of course Kelly Kapowski

Jesus Christ that’s sad.  I think I’ll just watch the Puppy Bowl instead.

No comments:

Post a Comment