Wednesday, January 30, 2013

An ode to Wingbowl

February is a special time of year
A time for football, fun and cheer

Yes, Wingbowl is at long last back
A tournament where chickens come under attack

A game where hero’s come to eat
A game where skinny people end in defeat

A spectacle like the world has never seen
Where you’re bound to see something obscene

I remember my first Yuengling in the parking lot
And watching Coop shit that was left to rot

I’ve been to 3 such amazing contests
I’ve seen the best eaters and the best breasts

Here chants for more women to expose their tits
And in the parking lot see slobs throw up their spirits

The parade floats are decorated with care
Adoring wingettes who show off their flair

With past hero’s like Joey Chestnut and El Wingador
Brings forth the avengers of eating like Iron Man or Thor

This isn’t something gay like Coney Island
It’s a sport for the rugged, tough and manned

Wingbowl is a miraculous display of strength
A contest that keeps human decency at arms length

So gentleman start your eating
Cause Wingbowl is here so start your cheering

From Stanley Cup Playoffs to the Super bowl
No tournament, contest or series compares to you
With your chicken legs aplenty this sport has the most soul
Yes Wingbowl is the greatest game, it never leaves me blue

So how can I celebrate such a glorious sport
By chanting for boobs and getting far to drunk
Yes, that is the perfect combination, my favorite resort
Plus watch the video of Sloth hurl chunk

The sights, the sounds and the smell
There is nowhere on earth quiet like it
The Super Bowl sucks, and Wingbowl is just swell
I will miss being there, especially the tit(s)

Wingbowl is the best
A contest like no other
There is also puke

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