Colonel Kurtz's Take on the NFL Draft

I see past the bullshit now.  I see past the lies, the deceit and the games.  I see up the tallest mountains and down to the bottoms of oceans.  I see all the way into space, and I can tell you there’s nothing there.   I’ve seen more horrible nightmares than Tim Burton and more loving embraces than Nicolas Sparks.  And I’ve seen the NFL draft.

I’m past the point of caring about the nothingness that the suits in Bristol have been telling me are important.  Their timid, phony logic no longer holds water. I’m done with all their trite, tired thoughts on things that are inconsequential.  I’m even done with Bud Light.

The trivial whereabouts of where people work and play no longer has relevance in my life.  I’m out there, in the ether.  And I’m not wearing pants.

Samuel deal unsurprising, but still questionable

In what many predicted would happen a year ago following the signings of Nnamdi Asomugha and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, the Eagles have apparently dealt Asante Samuel. Unable to get the second-rounder they wanted last offseason, the Eagles settled for just a seventh-rounder.

This is no surprise. Samuel was due $9.9 million from the Eagles this year, but restructured his deal to accommodate the Falcons.

Few players are worth $9.9 million per season, and with the Eagles already paying Asomugha top dollar and Samuel about to turn 32, something was going to give.

But does this trade really make the Eagles any more likely to win this season? No, obviously.

Parity in the NBA: The Plight of the Underdog

The NHL is in the midst of wrapping up the first round of its 2012 playoffs, in which the West's top seed has already been eliminated and the first and second seeds in the East will each need to win a seventh game to advance. The Panthers are on the brink of their first playoff series win since 1996, and the Coyotes just won their first playoff series since...ever.

Meanwhile, the NBA's Charlotte Bobcats are careening toward the worst single-season winning percentage in NBA history, and the Indiana Pacers are the only top-10 team in the NBA that could be regarded as a mild surprise.

Yes, it's another lesson in parity, and specifically the NBA's lack thereof. Why, exactly, does the NBA have so little competitive balance? It turns out that championship teams reliably exhibit some of the exact same qualifications, and that we can measure them before the playoffs begin--and in some cases, before the season even takes place.

Brian Dawkins: A Eulogy

Thank you all for coming today.  I know the news just broke recently and I am sure many of you are still in shock, I know I am. 

It’s funny for a long time we’ve been anticipating this day, some of us for three years now, but still when it happens words fail us.  But here goes…

We are gathered here today to remember and lionize Brian Patrick Dawkins; loving husband, beloved father and bone shattering hitter.

With Giroux, Flyers just play "follow the leader"

Peter Laviolette called him the best player in the world.

Kimmo Timonen said he was the best player in the league right now.

Danny Briere, no playoff slouch himself, called his first shift "the sign of a great leader."

Yes, Claude Giroux brought his A game for the series clincher against the favored Penguins, and it was something to behold.

My Time With Sidney Crosby

Sidney Crosby; long known as the most talented player in the league since The Great One, has been coming under fire recently for his actions and his words.  With his team down 2-0 in their first round matchup against the Philadelphia Flyers, Crosby instigated several fights and was widely regarded as playing, according to Barry Melrose as “A petulant, snot nosed, dingleberry”(Citation needed)  Partly because of his actions the Penguins would go on to lose game 3 and are now in desperation mode.

Not wanting to let the media kill his proverbial golden goose I got a call from Mario Lemieux requesting an interview between me and his troubled star.  It was according to Super Mario a way to let the people of Philadelphia know that while this is playoff hockey and tempers will rise, that it is just a hockey game and there were no real hard feelings.  According to Lemieux with my penchant for snagging high profile interviews and my near constant bomb threats I was the perfect combination of tough but brutally unfair, much like the crowd at the Wachovia Center.

"You can't beat us!" is hard truth for Pens

"You can't beat us."

The best sports chants are totally spontaneous, born out of a collective emotion so strong that 20,000 complete strangers express it loudly in perfect unison, and so perfectly capture the truth of the moment that the object of their derision or adoration can't help but be cut to the bone.

Such was the scene with four minutes and 42 seconds left to play in the final frame of what can only be described as a "who's your daddy?" type of affair.